When we enjoy each other, we accept one another and learn to love life more. Over the next couple of posts, I am going to give you a simple yet effective 7-step plan to help you enjoy the presence of others in your daily life. This may help you with your friendships, coworkers, relationship, or parenting. However this fits into your life, I hope you’ll follow each step and start to practice it on your own.
Eliminate the Performance Burden
Approximately 30% of Americans suffer from anxiety disorders. Back in the day, our self-esteem was dependant on pleasing others. Eventually, people shift their self-esteem to be self-perpetuated and not based solely on popularity.
This mental shift allows room for less expectation and eliminates the naivety and the element of surprise. Trust is about feeling comfortable with one another and loving them enough to know when not to trust them.
So how can we eliminate the performance burden? Instead of striving for perfection, we strive for excellence; we need to accept life as is and challenge ourselves to be a better person.
Imagine an individual who is attractive because they are easy-going and inspiring; then picture that as you. You are that individual people want to be around because you inspire them, embrace them, but at the same time, know your limits when you are mistreated.
Enjoy Another’s Faults
How can we be around others and deal with their habits?
1) Reduce the Threat.
One of the best ways to avoid getting annoyed by other people’s habits is to give yourself some space. This will allow you to have peace within yourself which will then help you stay content with other people.
2) Determine the Habit.
Some habits can easily be avoided but if it is something like belching out loud then this should be addressed.
3) Moving from Threats to Happiness.
We need to realize that people’s greatest weakness is also their greatest strength. Other than their habits, what are this person’s hidden talents? If you use this approach, it may help to compensate for their weakness.
Be More of a Partner than a Parent/Coach
During my friend Jill’s workshop, she gives the couples a scenario where if their partner says, “have you seen my keys?” What would they do? While some couples said they would feel forced to stop everything they are doing to help them find his/her keys; others said they would offer to help them find it. “But did your partner ask for help?” Jill reminds them. “If he wants help, he asks for help; it’s just that simple.” The best way to look at it is in any relationship, communication is everything.